Priscilla Is My Spider-Man

Overheard leaving Priscilla Queen of the Desert:  "It made me feel dirty."  "I need to go read a dictionary now." "That was worse than Elling."

Oh wait, that was just my partner, and favorite theater date, Dara. I try to protect her by only taking her to shows she will like, so she has been spoiled by a lot of great theater,  but sometimes I fail, like with Priscilla (and Elling).

I have been excited for the spring Broadway season to open. The two shows I was most looking forward to were The Book of Mormon and Priscilla Queen of the Desert. What a disappointment this Priscilla was. I knew it would be a jukebox musical; I knew it would be something my mother would like. My expectations were within reason, though - drag queens on a road trip, campy and fun. But fun at the expense of quality turns out to not be fun.

I blame the book. Normally you can sum up a play or musical in one line. "It's about families." "It's about war." "It's about politics." Priscilla doesn't have a coherent plot. It is not about friendship between three men. It is not about a gay man reconnecting with his wife and son. It is not about homophobia encountered in rural areas. It's not about the many challenges faced by transsexuals. These storylines are all touched on, but never fleshed out. What is this musical supposed to be about?

We New Yorkers are tired of jukebox musicals, but the tourists love them. At least in Mamma Mia! the ABBA songs correspond with the story, but in Priscilla songs just come up after six lines of pointless dialogue. Too much time has passed with Nick Adams in shorts and a tank top. Let's dress him up and make him sing again. The concept of songs advancing the plot is irrelevant when there is no plot.

The one thing that I loved was when the drag queens' bus was vandalized. The phrase, "Fuck off Faggots" had been spray painted in huge letters across the bus. The audience had been eating this musical up, and they collectively gasped when the bus was revealed and remained quiet. The shock was effective and felt by everyone in the theater. Getting the audience to care about these characters and witness them become targets of hate was significant. It was an important reminder that life as a gay man isn't all "It's Raining Men." The vandalized bus remained on the stage for many minutes as the show continued. It was the only poignant moment of the entire two and a half hours.

Nick Adams and Will Swenson are pretty, but that's not enough to carry this show, because all they do is get dressed up and look pretty (sometimes with an Australian accent, sometimes without). We know Swenson can act and Adams can dance - why not let them do that for a bit, see where it takes the show? Tony Sheldon, however, was exceptional and completely passed as a woman. The media likes to give more attention to heterosexual men who pull off such feats, so I doubt Sheldon will get the credit he deserves. He plays Bernadette with grace and fluidity. If only more of the book had dealt with Bernadette's past and future romances . . .

The costumes were fabulous, as were the many quick changes. There wasn't a set. Literally. The inside of the bus was moderately interesting, but the rest of the stage was pretty bare. Something is wrong with the world when shows such as Scottsboro Boys and Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson close, while fluff like Priscilla opens. I don't even think my mother would like it that much.

In short, Priscilla is my Spider-Man. You know what I mean.